"You feel like a candle in a hurricane...." no truer words from a popular song.
A sub released from her Master. Suddenly she is without that shelter that was hers for ... well it doesn't matter how long... except the longer the relationship the more difficult the fall.
What happened? Who did what? Why? What do I do now? What DID I DO?
The questions, oh the questions. For the sub, she seeks something to make sense of what happened. Her light is in danger, the wind is strong and there is no shelter. She runs. First one way then the next. Sometimes to someone's arms for shelter, sometimes to someone's arms for pain, sometimes to a corner to curl up. But she runs. "round like a circle in a spiral, like a wheel within a wheel, never ending or beginning, on an ever spinning reel" More words, but describes the mind of a sub when she is spinning.
Out of control. Words that no sub wants to hear or feel. Control is the issue.
The stronger the sub, the harder this is felt. A strong sub knows herself well, she knows her wants and needs. She is capable and able to care for herself.
But she gave that to the Dom who became her Master. She gave him her strength, her power. He holds that for her. He walks away and leaves it dropped in the mud. For a brief time, she can only stare at it. Not able to move or pick it up. It is like an alien thing to her, not recognizable with his imprint on it.
She runs. Not far, and stares back at it realizing that she is missing something.
So she steps back closer an looks at it, reaches out and prods it with a finger. The yearning overwhelms her and she sways. His scent is in the air, the scent she knows so well. The scent that kept her strong for so long.
She bends, her knees almost to the ground as if a remembered pose and sinks a hand in the mess that is lying there. She shudders at the cold lifeless feel, and draws in a deep breath to fortify herself as she picks it up an drapes it around her. Shivers she turns and walks away.
But where does she go? What does a sub do when her world is turned upside down? When the gift she gave is cruelly rejected?
Now some may argue that it may have been snatched back by the sub and the Dom had no part in it. I disagree.
The Dom has the responsibility of the sub. It is his responsibility for her welfare. If submission is being withdrawn, then he needs to take the same steps to assure her and himself a transition.
"the edge of a canyon with only one way down" again, that song. Yes, she again looks down where she was before, the edge. But before she looked at him and he nodded with trust and "she jumped into his arms as he whispered "welcome home"" She looks down and for a moment is certain that if she jumps he will catch her again.
But she does not feel that trust anymore, that assuredness that he will always be there. She sways and falls back afraid, then turns and runs, again. Into the darkness where she feels her light buffeted by the wind.
The questions swirl around her and unsure of where to go she is vulnerable to influence. She is lacking structure and control. Oh she will develop her own, and a strong sub will put on the appearance of being "ok". She is good at exerting an inner control and she gathers the stones to build her wall up again. But that is a facade, and there are some that can see that. Hopefully they mean her no harm, but she is in danger of the wrong control taking over.
Where is the Dom all this time? I don't know. I would hope to think he is just as upset at the loss of the sub. His world is also shaken. The power he held is gone, ripped away., and he must feel a certain weakness. Weakness and discomfort. Is that what causes him to toss her power in the mud and walk away? Why is it so difficult for a Dom to admit a weakness and lack of power. He is still in control, but perhaps in not the same way and that is disconcerting.
Nonetheless, it is his responsibility to look after his sub, to help her stand on her feet and regain the power he no longer wants or she no longer wants to give him.
She runs, she spins in circles, she is lost in so many ways and for a time very certain she has no worth. He needs to leave her with a sense of worth, a sense of purpose, as sense of who she is without him.
Ahh.. she should know that? But remember, she gave him a part of herself. The best part and it is now tarnished and she is unsure. Who will validate her worth?
"On your knees you look up
Decide you've had enough
You get mad you get strong
Wipe your hands shake it off
Then you Stand"
Yes she will stand, yes she will shake it off and be stronger. The price is enormousness. The pain and hurt she goes through is difficult to fathom. Assuredly he must go through some also.
How much easier would it be if he helped her stand, helped it from her knees and guided her to a path where she would find her strength again.
Easier for both I would think. For in helping her be released, he helps himself release her. She withdraws her power slowly and he withdraws his support slowly.
They still part, but as whole people, not crushed and broken and she walks with pride and hope.
