Trust Again - No not really

Time to look at trust again.

Trust is given? Trust is earned? Trust grows?
Or is it all of the above. You come to someone, you fall in love. When you look at them you see possibilities, and you have thoughts of what you want and need from them. But trust? We assume that is part of it. And as I have tried to say before, trust is expectations. But someone said something that made me think about that again, "It is not up to him to make you trust. You came to him with that trust and placed it in him." (thank you my friend)

The trust is mine, to give as is my submission. He can't make it, invent it, take it. I bring it and place it in his hands, and accept what he offers as he offers it without conditions. Then and only then am I open to the possibilities. Then and only then have I truly surrendered all control to him and his being. Then and only then can I belong completely.
Sometimes I feel like banging my head against a wall, why did I not understand this before? Because I was too busy hanging onto my trust, and my expectations.
Ouch.... rubbing my head.

It is my trust, my submission that I give. When I put conditions on what he needs to do or even be before I hand over that trust and submission, I set myself up for failure.

Does he need to make a nest for me to curl up in safe and warm ? I used to think so, not I am not so sure. He needs to have the strength and integrity to draw me to him, the open arms waiting. If the trust and submission are given, freely by me (and only I can decide if I have it to give) then the warm safe nest is there with two words, I Submit.

With that leap and that faith,  he now has the power to know what I need.