Trust

Funny word trust. We use it all the time. People throw it around like it was a penny. Has it lost it's meaning?

What does it mean? There are different kinds of trust. I trust that the sun will come up tomorrow. I trust that there is gas flowing from the gas pump.
What about the trust we put in strangers? I trust the cook in a restaurant to cook my food well. I trust the sales clerk to give me the correct change. (Some of you may count it every time, but I know most of you don't)

Then there is emotional trust. That is the one we talk about the most, the one we think about the most. What is it to trust someone? What does that mean?
We place something of ourselves in their hands. We let them in. Wait!! Let them in where? When we trust someone, we let them see our innermost thoughts and feelings. The ones that we don't show a stranger because we know that stranger would walk away. Well some thoughts aren't that bad, but you know what I mean.

How do we trust? Is it something the other person says? "Trust me." Is that all it take?
For some it is hard, it is like climbing a mountain to give trust. Why is that? Well they will tell you because their trust has been broken before.
So in reality it is not you they don't trust, it is themselves. We don't trust ourselves to make good choices.

So when we don't trust, who are we hurting? What do we miss out on?
I know, you can say that there is less pain that way. And I may disagree. Not trusting anyone, leaves one very lonely. Is that not painful? Look at the number of songs written about loneliness. Being alone hurts.

So, we trust someone. We share ourselves with them. We open our hearts and love them. We expect that they do the same. WAIT!! Who said anything about expectations???
Well isn't that what trust is? Expectations?

We trust someone, the problem comes in when we expect certain responses to that trust. And we don't get it. Then we say our trust is broken. But is it really?

"The key is to get to know people and trust them to be who they are. Instead, we trust people to be who we want them to be - and when they're not, we cry."

We gave the trust. We are the one that put conditions on it. When someone does not live up to those conditions, who has the problem?

I am not saying that it doesn't hurt. It really hurts alot when someone does not live up to what we felt they should. We take back our trust, and we are most upset with ourselves for ever giving it. It hurts. We lose faith in ourselves and we want the other person to take that blame. We need someone else to be the cause of the hurt we have inside. Does that make it easier? I don't think so. I think it makes the hurt linger longer.

So what do we do? Not trust? Without trust, we never really know someone. Without trust, we never really feel safe. Without trust, we never really grow.
Only you can decide if it is worth the risk to trust someone. Only you can decide.

"We're never so vulnerable than when we trust someone - but paradoxically, if we cannot trust neither can we find love love or joy"
Walter Anderson