More on Trust

Still thinking about trust.... so difficult to understand how it works. When you meet someone, there is an initial giving of trust. Superficial, of course. No expectations except that the person respond in an appropriate manner. We find that we enjoy the conversation and like the answers to our questions. Then we extend a little more trust, we begin to share something of ourselves. Again, the expectation is that the other person will accept that information and share something of themselves. After all, knowing each other is the basis of a relationship.

The way we react to someone is based on previous relationships. Sometimes, we repeat the same process over and over. Do we not learn?

Well that depends. It depends on whether we understand our reactions. And it depends on the other person too. We are not always able to recognize when we react to something in a negative way. And if the other person does not catch the signs,  then we are doomed to repeat the same mistake.

That is when trust comes in. When we trust someone and open up a little of ourselves, we are trusting or expecting that they will be able to recognize the negative reactions and help us through them.
That is a lot to put on someone. And that is why so many fast, hot relationships break apart so quickly.
Each person has those expectations or trust in the other.
The relationship falls apart and each looks at the other and is determined not to "trust" again.

Then the wall comes up. You can call it anything you want, but all it means is that we fear.
We fear our needs and wants. Are we looking for too much, are we looking for something that doesn't exist?
We fear letting ourselves open to another. We are so unsure of ourselves, of what we see as truth.
We fear being hurt again. We fear the defeat we felt not so long ago.

What is trust? Do we need it? Can we have a relationship without it?